I'm so fucking centered right now
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
