If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
