2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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