glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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