Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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