there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
