no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
