I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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