left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
