The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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