I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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