bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize