I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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