watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
