They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize