Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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