i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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