Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
