i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
