I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
