hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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