This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
