I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize