Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The air taste purple.
Randomize
