everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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