I'm drive I can fine osifer
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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