So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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