Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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