awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
