glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
