Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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