id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
