are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
