Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
