Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
