i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
either way he was missing a nipple.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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