I think i peed on brittanys purse
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
