I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
