i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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