I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize