It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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