You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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