I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
