he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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