she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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