I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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