OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
