You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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