Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
