Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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