I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
