how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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