im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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