Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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