i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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