just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize