Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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