why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
