i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I want to be your penis for a week.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
