can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
