She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
