and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
