so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
