I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
