OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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