sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
