whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
