You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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