Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize