I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
