I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
