They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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