Its about making memories worth repressing
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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