Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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