i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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